By Jessica Araus
Once things start to become a bit more serious in a relationship, the development of certain rituals can be a great tool for connecting with your partner on a deeper level. My boyfriend and I love to explore many different practices, so here are a few ideas to help get you started.
- Happiness Jar
This is perhaps one of our favorite rituals! We made this jar at the beginning of this year, and ever since, we have been filling it with beautiful memories. The idea is that
every time we feel joy or happiness about something, we write it on a piece of paper and put it in the jar. We each write our papers separately, but add them to the same jar. You can write about something you did together, something that made you laugh, or an act of love that your partner did. Like, there was this one day that I came home to flowers on the table and my favorite lunch waiting for me. I definitely wrote that memory down and put it in the jar.
The good thing about the happiness jar is that it reminds you that there are always things to be grateful for, even if they are small. Whenever one of us is feeling sad, we pick one paper from the jar and read it out loud, and that immediately cheers us up.
And, on the last day of the year, we’ll open the jar and read all of our papers!
- Make a wish together
Every time we travel to somewhere new, we select a special spot to make a wish! We do not tell the other person what our wish is, but we do ask for it at the same time. The first time we asked for a wish together, we were at the Love Locks bridge in Cologne, Germany. After having hung our lock at the bridge’s fence, we threw the key into the river. While the key was going into the water, we both made a wish. A few months later, we both revealed what our wish was, and realized that it had already come true. The best part of this story is that we both had asked for the same thing, to move in together!
Another time, we were at the ancient city of Teotihuacan, in Mexico. We were standing in front of the pyramid of Quetzalcoatl, the feathered serpent. The Temple of the feathered serpent used to be not only a political center but also a religious center. There was something mystical about being in that place. It was full of good vibes. Perhaps it was the fact that it was quiet enough to meditate. And it was in this sacred place that we held hands, closed our eyes, and made a new wish. On my side, my wish hasn’t yet come true in totality, but I can clearly see it manifesting!
The third wish we have made this year was at the Keukenhof Garden in Lisse, Netherlands. We threw a cent in a little canal, where other people have also done the same thing. Being surrounded by thousands of beautiful flowers brought the wish vibe to us!
One great wish-making tip I can give you is to do it whenever you are in nature! There is something magical about being close to water, mountains, rivers or trees. It is like the universe is saying: I hear you.
- Go Spiritual together
Independently of our religion, we like reading the Bible together. We open the Bible to a random book and read two or three verses from that book. We like doing it after dinner. It is a nice way to just relax after a good meal. We read for about ten minutes, and take turns reading out loud. We then comment on what we have read, and interpret the passage. If reading the Bible is not your thing, try to sit and meditate together, or talk about how you feel inside. When your spiritual side is aligned, it is more probable that the happiness in your relationship will last for a longer period of time.
- Vision Board
Vision boards are personal tools you can use to focus on your long-term goals, but sharing one with your partner can help you reach your goals faster. And, it’s more fun too! Since the two of you will be collaborating in turning the board into a reality, it will give you a feeling of achievement and teamwork. Every time you accomplish certain goals from the board, mark it, and then focus on a new area that needs to be taken care of.
Become the best version of yourself while supporting your partner in every area of his/her life. Growing and experiencing success together makes a relationship stronger.
- Be in the moment together
Whenever you are having lunch together or going for a walk, try to disconnect from your phone and connect with your partner instead. Value the time you spend together. Do it as an act of respect and appreciation towards him or her. However, turning off your mobile does not always mean you are in the moment. Turn off your internal dialogue too, so your thoughts don’t distract you from paying attention to what your partner is saying. Every morning before jumping out of bed, dedicate ten minutes to hug your partner. Set the alarm ten minutes earlier than you would normally do, and spend that time enjoying your partner’s company while you are still in bed. The same at the end of the day, spend some time talking about your day and put some nice thoughts in your mind before going to sleep.
Finally, create your own rituals! What is it that makes your relationship special? Is there something you both like doing at a certain time of the day? Try to get into the habit of making and cultivating precious memories together.